Thursday, May 17, 2012

ne lire pas

*Spoiler Alert* If you haven't already read the Hunger Games (and still might do so eventually)- don't read this post yet. It kinda sorta gives away a little bit of the plot. Ish.

It's been a long time since I remember feeling inadequate. Every once in a while, I get the mid-life crisis, don't know where I'm going with myself, feeling but I seem to be able to off put that feeling by reassuring myself of what all I have. I know I have family and friends that I love and that love me and I have an easy life and I'm blessed to be healthy and everything. I know. And usually, I am happy being single so much so that I don't even look at it as me being single, just me being happy. With myself. Without needing someone else.
But thanks to the Hunger Games, I feel the tides changing. I feel that feeling I felt back in high school when I watched Tristan and Isolde. I was in a funk for weeks just wishing I could live in a time like that or be a part of a life like that. Of a love like that. I was pissed at the world for being able to create such beauty on screen and even more pissed that it couldn't be recreated in real life.
Love doesn't tear nations apart. Love doesn't conquer all.
The Hunger Games doesn't even create that intensely deep of a passion, of a true true-love story but it describes that feeling so well. The feeling of being safe and comforted in someone else's arm, of wanting to be noticed. The pain of having to consider living without the other.  Sooner or later, I am going to quit watching these kinds of movies and reading these kinds of books. It's not interesting in a way that keeps me eager and willing to learn more. It's not compelling or motivating for me to seek change because I am certain it is impossible. It's like trying to seek magic. I know it doesn't exist but still this idea seems so much more tangible.
It's like love is my carrot and I'm just the bunny aimlessly chasing after it, never willing to accept that it will forever stay, as it always has been, just slightly beyond my reach. It's depressing. It's the media's way of shoving it in our faces that we will never compete with fiction. Whether that was their goal or not. And I hate it.

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